3 Years Later (Remembering the journey)

This week I am celebrating my 3rd year since picking up my very first CCI puppy. On May 28th 2010 a rather awkward 13 year old with a bowl cut and a big smile walked through the doors of the doors of Canine Companions' North Central regional center.

That day I met Dembre... I handsome, adorable, loveable black Labrador Retriever/Golden Retriever cross. I fell in love that day- with CCI and with that 7 week old puppy. He changed my life.

Yep that was me. 

Over the next year and a half I bonded with a large number of other puppy raisers through this blog and at CCI classes and events. I dedicated a lot of my time to trying my best to bring up that little puppy to be a service dog that could change a life.

In 2011 I hugged that puppy who had changed my life a rather surreal farewell, put him in CCI's kennel and then left. My time with Dembre was over and I rested in that, hoping that someday that puppy would be a super hero.

A week later I started a new endeavor, one that taught me and stretched me and transformed me. that endeavor is named Hobart II. He came in the form of a bundle of yellow energy.

He wasn't quite as much of a dreamy dog as Dembre was. He was harder to work with and harder to understand and yet we bonded in a special way that is only possible between a puppy raiser and his charge.

In February, after 6 months of anticipation, Dembre graduated to go be a full time service dog in Minnesota. I proudly handed him over to Imelda realizing that at this point Dembre had a new life and a fulfilled mission. He was the super hero I had helped raise up.

Hobart's struggles continued and I, in the business of life, struggled to maintain control and to do my best as he grew older. Finally, October came with only one month left to work with my pup and so we kicked it into high gear and worked as hard as we could to prepare him for turn-in. A month later, feeling little more prepared, I patted Hobart on the head and left him, yet again hoping that by some chance he could be just like Dembre. There was no 3rd puppy to take home so I went on trying to live a "normal life.

Two months later I got a call. This call tore me to pieces and yet in other ways brought a sense of clarity. Hobart was released from the service dog program to become a pet. With a little bit of time we found him a home with a new loving family in North Carolina.

I drove out to meet part of his new family and wit a few tears and a feeling of happiness watched him jump into the car of his new family to head to a new home. Now he gets wonderful attention and is free to visit the beach on the weekends, fulfilling all of his puppyhood dreams and with a little big of thought I rested in the fact that he had gone home.

Then it all hit me. I waited patiently for a chance for puppy #3 but amidst the business of life none arose. I tried to ignore the feeling, the longing to change more lives, but it didn't go away and finally I had to confront it. What's next?

CCI has been my home, community, and much of my life over these last 3 years and I've loved pretty much every second of it. All of you have been amazing and I want to thank you as you've helped me learn grow and read what I've had to say through thick and think of life.

I've been talking about getting a third puppy for awhile now, but as of today that seems unlikely to happen in the next year. Everything in side of me never wants to let go of this miraculous journey that I have been a part of and have learned from, but sometimes change is necessary.

Just about now I was planning on bringing home a third pup, but amidst life I realized that maybe this isn't the season to make this decision. This summer I'll be headed to Russia for a month, and most of the rest of the summer will be filled with travel, business and alas few chances to train a dog.

I was looking at my calender and began to truly understand that life changes. Three years ago I was free to dedicate everything I had to the mission of CCI and to help raise extraordinary dogs for extraordinary people. It's my dream. Since I was little I've wanted to be a part of something big, but as I said life changes.

This is all a long and sorrowful way to say that if there's a puppy #3 (which I pray that there is) it will most likely not be in the near future. The more and more I've truly appreciated what I've been able to do as a puppy raiser, the more I've come to see that each puppy takes time, energy, and care that I seem to be lacking at the moment.

All of this may be emotional rambling or reminiscent fluff, but to me it's my life. Since I hit my teenage years I've always had a puppy by my side to help me get through and be who I am. Sometimes I don't understand why God lets things change. I hate it; I really do. All I wanted to do was be where I am... happy, content and in love with the mission of Canine Companions for Independence.

At the end of it all I (more than ever) appreciate everything God has done and all you have done. Whether or not my future holds extensive work with CCI, I plan on volunteering to temporarily foster dogs and to puppy sit to keep connected with the amazing work that CCI is doing. As I finish my Sophomore year of high school I look back and thank God that I took advantage of the life I've been given instead of simply embracing complacency.

THANK YOU all for being a part of my journey. No matter where I go, I look to follow God's lead. Over this last year He has lead me to work with a missions center in Virginia, travel throughout the Eastern part of the US speaking on college campuses about the value of human life, and to be a major part of my community. I trust He can use me this summer in Russia and wherever I am.

This is the hardest post I have ever had to write. I will continue to write as much as possible and will continue to pray that within the puppy raising circles God does great things.

With love, hope, and a heavy heart

~Elijah (just me)