Showing posts with label how to say goodbye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to say goodbye. Show all posts

Friday, May 31, 2013

3 Years Later (Remembering the journey)

This week I am celebrating my 3rd year since picking up my very first CCI puppy. On May 28th 2010 a rather awkward 13 year old with a bowl cut and a big smile walked through the doors of the doors of Canine Companions' North Central regional center.

That day I met Dembre... I handsome, adorable, loveable black Labrador Retriever/Golden Retriever cross. I fell in love that day- with CCI and with that 7 week old puppy. He changed my life.


Yep that was me. 
Over the next year and a half I bonded with a large number of other puppy raisers through this blog and at CCI classes and events. I dedicated a lot of my time to trying my best to bring up that little puppy to be a service dog that could change a life.

In 2011 I hugged that puppy who had changed my life a rather surreal farewell, put him in CCI's kennel and then left. My time with Dembre was over and I rested in that, hoping that someday that puppy would be a super hero.

A week later I started a new endeavor, one that taught me and stretched me and transformed me. that endeavor is named Hobart II. He came in the form of a bundle of yellow energy.
He wasn't quite as much of a dreamy dog as Dembre was. He was harder to work with and harder to understand and yet we bonded in a special way that is only possible between a puppy raiser and his charge.

In February, after 6 months of anticipation, Dembre graduated to go be a full time service dog in Minnesota. I proudly handed him over to Imelda realizing that at this point Dembre had a new life and a fulfilled mission. He was the super hero I had helped raise up.

Hobart's struggles continued and I, in the business of life, struggled to maintain control and to do my best as he grew older. Finally, October came with only one month left to work with my pup and so we kicked it into high gear and worked as hard as we could to prepare him for turn-in. A month later, feeling little more prepared, I patted Hobart on the head and left him, yet again hoping that by some chance he could be just like Dembre. There was no 3rd puppy to take home so I went on trying to live a "normal life.

Two months later I got a call. This call tore me to pieces and yet in other ways brought a sense of clarity. Hobart was released from the service dog program to become a pet. With a little bit of time we found him a home with a new loving family in North Carolina.

I drove out to meet part of his new family and wit a few tears and a feeling of happiness watched him jump into the car of his new family to head to a new home. Now he gets wonderful attention and is free to visit the beach on the weekends, fulfilling all of his puppyhood dreams and with a little big of thought I rested in the fact that he had gone home.

Then it all hit me. I waited patiently for a chance for puppy #3 but amidst the business of life none arose. I tried to ignore the feeling, the longing to change more lives, but it didn't go away and finally I had to confront it. What's next?

CCI has been my home, community, and much of my life over these last 3 years and I've loved pretty much every second of it. All of you have been amazing and I want to thank you as you've helped me learn grow and read what I've had to say through thick and think of life.

I've been talking about getting a third puppy for awhile now, but as of today that seems unlikely to happen in the next year. Everything in side of me never wants to let go of this miraculous journey that I have been a part of and have learned from, but sometimes change is necessary.

Just about now I was planning on bringing home a third pup, but amidst life I realized that maybe this isn't the season to make this decision. This summer I'll be headed to Russia for a month, and most of the rest of the summer will be filled with travel, business and alas few chances to train a dog.

I was looking at my calender and began to truly understand that life changes. Three years ago I was free to dedicate everything I had to the mission of CCI and to help raise extraordinary dogs for extraordinary people. It's my dream. Since I was little I've wanted to be a part of something big, but as I said life changes.

This is all a long and sorrowful way to say that if there's a puppy #3 (which I pray that there is) it will most likely not be in the near future. The more and more I've truly appreciated what I've been able to do as a puppy raiser, the more I've come to see that each puppy takes time, energy, and care that I seem to be lacking at the moment.

All of this may be emotional rambling or reminiscent fluff, but to me it's my life. Since I hit my teenage years I've always had a puppy by my side to help me get through and be who I am. Sometimes I don't understand why God lets things change. I hate it; I really do. All I wanted to do was be where I am... happy, content and in love with the mission of Canine Companions for Independence.

At the end of it all I (more than ever) appreciate everything God has done and all you have done. Whether or not my future holds extensive work with CCI, I plan on volunteering to temporarily foster dogs and to puppy sit to keep connected with the amazing work that CCI is doing. As I finish my Sophomore year of high school I look back and thank God that I took advantage of the life I've been given instead of simply embracing complacency.

THANK YOU all for being a part of my journey. No matter where I go, I look to follow God's lead. Over this last year He has lead me to work with a missions center in Virginia, travel throughout the Eastern part of the US speaking on college campuses about the value of human life, and to be a major part of my community. I trust He can use me this summer in Russia and wherever I am.

This is the hardest post I have ever had to write. I will continue to write as much as possible and will continue to pray that within the puppy raising circles God does great things.

With love, hope, and a heavy heart

~Elijah (just me)





Friday, November 9, 2012

HOBART'S TURN-IN (THE OFFICIAL POST)

"So I guess this is goodbye." That's what I told Hobart II as I walked out of CCI's North Central Training Center today. You know what? I can say that I'm proud and have few regrets! I walked away from that kennel with my head held high, because no matter what happens I know that I have taken time to see Hobart from point A to B.

The day was beautiful. I went to the Dublin Rec Center and talked to some of my PR friends and let Hobart and his pretty sister Hoya hang out for a bit. We got some pictures (which you'll see below) and then we all went in for the ceremony. Today CCI has successfully placed more than 4,000 teams and I got to witness that milestone. It was strange for me getting up and receiving my flower and getting applause, because I still don't really feel like that turn-in time has come around again!

When Suzanne introduced Hobart and I she said, "Hobart was raised by Elijah and his family, but mostly Elijah." I found that quite amusing and so did my family ;)

During the ceremony some donors talked about their contributions to CCI and CCI's contributions to the world. We had a touching moment when one of the twelve service dog graduates asked the audience to give a hand to the puppy raisers and to the trainers. She thanked the Canine Companions staff for all their hard work and gave them all a gift :)

When we got back to the North Central center we got more pictures of Hobart (which you'll see below) talked to some of the other puppy raisers, who were turning-in puppies today and then said goodbye to Hobart. He hopped right on in to his kennel. When his kennel mate joined him they started to play.

It all feels very surreal. Hobart has reached his last bit of training with me, but I guess I know that his journey will continue either as a service dog or as a released pet. Either way I hope he finds a place to be happy. My emotions aren't really as worked up as I thought they'd be. I was smiling to much to even think about crying. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow I'll realize that it's over for a few months, but maybe it'll just sink in gradually and I'll be content with where things are now!






kennel time





pep talk .
~Elijah (with Hobart in my prayers)

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Just today and then goodbye

Just today and then goodbye. That makes me feel a little strange. With Dembre I spent weeks of my summer preparing for turn-in remembering taking pictures and just trying to get the most out of our time.
Right now I'm dog sitting two other dogs and am just super busy and it feels very tough to just slow down and sit on the floor and talk to Hobart for awhile. Part of my lack of preparation would be my extreme surprise if he actually gets past week two. Second would just be that Hobart feels like he's so much a part of my family and life that he can't just leave.
There may be a few farewell tears, but I still look forward to the journey that God has ahead for both of us.
he's sad to have to leave too

Until tomorrow
~Elijah & Hobart II (for one last time)

Friday, February 17, 2012

DEMBRE'S GRADUATION (THE OFFICIAL POST)

Dembre graduated! It has been one of the best days of my life. First we got to the rec center where they hold the graduations and got to take Dembre out and get a bunch of pics (which you'll see below). Then we handed Dembre back to his trainer and went to lunch with his new partner, Imelda. She is one of the sweetest ladies I have ever met and she makes the most perfect match with Dembre. She loves him and he returns that emotion quite clearly. It was so amazing to hear her stories about him and all the things that he does for her and then getting to share photos and stories from my time with Dembre. Imelda lives a quiet life of prayer, which is great because we have our faith in common. Before hand I was scared that there wouldn't be enough to say, but that wasn't the case. Our hour long lunch flew by and was gone before I knew it!
So proud of that boy!!!!!!!

Then came the ceremony! I got Dembre back and walked him around to meet more of my friends and say "hi." Both of my grand mothers came as well as three families that are friends of ours. Then I got to walk up and hook Dembre's leash on to Imelda's wheelchair and give her a hug. I got to watch some of my wonderful friends turn-in their dogs and hand over their dogs at graduation! It was SO SO SO amazing!

You cannot describe the feeling of utter fulfillment and happiness when you get to hand over that leash and say, "here's your puppy." The moment I saw Dembre I knew he wasn't mine. He looked and looked for Imelda when I had him, because she's his new leader. It's great!
one more "lap"

Handsome as ever
The other amazing thing about graduation was all the support that I received. I can't recall how many of my wonderful CCI puppy raising friends came up to me and gave me a hug and said that they were so very proud of Dembre and I. All of my CCI mentors were there cheering me on and it was so encouraging. I even got quite a few CCI staff members saying that they were so excited for me. It's indescribable. Watching all these people I respect so much tell me how much the care!!!! I want to thank all of you readers for all your support via comments and sharing. Many of you have watched Dembre grow up from the time he was 2 months old and I thank you for your ongoing support and encouragement.
Reunited once more
Me and my boys!!!
Those eyes
handing over the leash!
Imelda, Dembre, and I!!!
Thanks again for everything!!!!!!

with so much joy
~Elijah & Hobart II (saying goodbye to Dembre)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Goodbye Song

I came home Saturday night and of course when I'm feeling emotional I play piano and sing! Well, I started writing a song and I thought I'd share the current lyrics!


Verse 1: Hello, Goodbye, tears in my eyes as the time flies by,
              Remember yesterday when tomorrow was miles and miles away,

Chorus? (maybe pre-chorus): You laugh and you cry, 'cuz it's time to say goodbye,

Verse 2: Farewell, So long, just a moment and then you're gone,
              Yes, No, it's already stop, but you just said go. 


Now I need help from all the other PRs who have turned-in puppies. I need your thoughts. I am thinking about adding verse three and a bridge as well as adding to the chorus. This is a song dedicated to all of you who do this over and over so I want your ideas!!!!!!

And once again Hobart's coming tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All those exclamation points.... they mean I'm SUPER excited! I'm going to be picking up that cute little chub ball and raising miracle #2. Can't wait to continue to share my thoughts with you and continue to follow all of your blogs!!!!!

Number 1- ADORABLE

Number 2- ADORABLE
~Elijah & Dembre
P.S. and I know I'm way overposting!!!!! But I have so much to say right now so please bare with me or ignore me :)

Friday, August 12, 2011

The Night Before (commands)

Today my Mom got pictures of Dembre and I doing all our commands!!!! I'm super excited about tomorrow and I thought I'd share these pics with you! Please pray for me as I prepare to say goodbye.
I am still so proud to be part of a miracle and can't wait to get number two! The BIG post will come tomorrow night! And I hope you all have the chance to read it!!!!!!!!

Down

Shake

up

sit

jump

lap

off

jump

stand

visit

turn

roll

dress

kennel


~Elijah & Dembre

24 hours until I'll be at Columbus State


Only 24 hours left before the workshop! How To Say Goodbye - Michael W. Smith. I've listened to this song like a million times preparing for turn-in. It's just amazing how close I am to be done with raising my first puppy! I will be turning in Dembre at 5 or 6 tomorrow. Please pray that all goes well.











~Elijah & Dembre